Why formal education is failing to teach students values and etiquette?

There is a famous buzzphrase usually among the younger generation and parents of teenagers that… ” they want better schooling or education system for better understanding and practical learning of students”. But what we often forget is that we are so focused on learning and getting a well-paid, stable and respectable job that nowadays young children are lacking life skills, social values, and etiquette. 

These values go hand in hand with the formal education we need to get into a multinational company, or even to start a startup.

So today we are going to explore,

What is more important Money, designation, or a Friendly environment?

Let’s for an instance imagine you give interview for two leading multinational companies. In one of them, record shows that employees are burdened with lot of work in weekdays and weekends as well. Also you have overheard that the manager or the boss Of your department is so inconsiderate  and heartless that employees even find it difficult to put themselves out and ask for a little help  when they are in dire need  of support .  

While on the other hand  second company has a very friendly environment with colleagues,  juniors or seniors exchanging different kinds of opinion, receiving criticism and handling it very well , considering each others mental health and helping physically, mentally or financially whenever someone feel low to continue with his or her work. 

In my opinion most of the people will choose second company where there are more considerate and frank people and then money, designation and reputation will not matter so much.

 But you tell me what do you think and what would have you done if you were given the choice to choose between these two companies???

Do you think values and etiquette should be taught in school??

Well according to me, yes definitely morals etiquettes, values should be taught in school. 

It is the most popular notion amongst all generations that ethics and morals are just associated with particular religious points of view and to be taught by parents, families as in grandparents and their relatives. And, therefore the school has nothing to offer in teaching students about social etiquettes and mannerisms 

But always remember,

“With every footsteps towards success, the margin of ethics must run parallel in sheet of life.”

-Vibhuti Haldar

Therefore according to me, this is not completely true since school is considered as second home of a child. Primary years of schooling build a strong foundation of a nation since a child is considered as the future of our country. So just imagine a CEO of a company or a scientist in ISRO who is completely perfect in his or her knowledge, techniques, and skills required for his job. But he doesn’t know how to build up a good team with team spirit, how to deal with people of different temperaments. Do you think he is gonna be successful at his job?? No, right… Even if it is rocket science, you still need extra skills of kindness, patience, calm mindedness to get your work easily done. Is discipline and values the same thing?

Also Generally there is a misconception that values are all about formal behavior. But actually, in my opinion, Religion, etiquette, and values talk all about kindness, love, courtesy, way to treat others. And to learn this school provides a very friendly environment with heterogeneous groups of students. And the difference in caste, religion, ethnicity can get submerged, and therefore students can become more secular by celebrating diversity under the umbrella of fraternity and supervision of teachers.

So they say,

“If you fail by grades, you will still have a valuable life to live. But if you fail by morals,  your life has no value.”


But you know what we all have seen that in kindergarten classes, our teachers are after every student to use phrases like “Thank you”, “Welcome”, “Sorry”, “Please”. And they also make sure that every students follows rules and regulations and always behaves in a disciplined way. But what according to schools is a disciplined student nowadays. I do notice that the term “discipline” is only restricted to activities like walking in a straight line, keeping quiet in class when teacher is taking a lecture,  answering all the questions when teacher asks  something .  And most importantly not to answer back when your elder or teacher is Scolding you .  But do you really think  this is the correct method to teach the younger generation  how to behave  in a social  aur public place .

Discipline , mannerism  and etiquettes  now a days are  just about  following  strict instructions  and not to question  any of the decision taken by the higher authority whether it is your home or your school. You are not permitted to answer back to your elders even when you are right and they are wrong.

 But I think students should be taught in school when they are learning about manners and discipline is that 

Although nowadays many schools and colleges are  conducting many Inter School  and interstate competitions  to provide children an environment where they can explore themselves . Extra curricular activities such as volunteering in an event, being part of Counciland conducting fest, being a part of choir  or Dance team etc.. helps you to to channelise your energy into doing something productive, which can help you in your future Times. And probably you can also findyour passion to do something different in your life.

What more can be done on the part of schools, colleges and other institutions is that they can provide and promote students to take up different vocational courses which gives them an alternate career path  to fulfill your aspirations  and achieve you are goals.

Schools can also provide some courses for personality development as it will help students to gain confidence and feel better about themselves. This will also reduce the self-doubt and pressure teenagers have to go through as they constantly compare their life with somebody else’s who have a better personality and a lot more confidence to put themselves out in front of a crowd.  This can also help in reducing anxiety, overthinking, and other mental health problems and can lead the world into becoming a more happy and friendly place. 

Are today student’s leading towards deconstruction?

According to a news survey around 70% of people feel that their children are lot more intolerant, obstinate, reckless, and worse in etiquettes and values than children were 20 to 30 years ago.

 One of the main reason for this kind of behaviour in students is the

1: Rat race we all are running  

With the frustration due to cutthroat competition to get into the best universities for graduation etiquette is rarely a Priority. Personality development and mannerism are not the subjects that would receive great attention. You know what was actually a frightening nightmare some years ago has now turned into a joke that is probably easier to get into heaven than admissions in IIT,  IIM, and prestigious colleges Delhi University.

This way we are only putting pressure on students and making them follow the common crowd.  This makes a student get so busy in getting a job just to fulfill his parent’s dream that he lost himself as individual person and forgets to explore his own passion and things he wants from his life. The second reason and one of the most important reason is that 

2. Now families are becoming nuclear people have to migrate into metro cities for better job opportunities.

Parents often plan everything about their child’s future that in which school, which stream,  which college they want to put their child in so as to have a bright future. But little do they realize that how the quality time they spend with their child is the most constructive way to make a child’s future bright.  

In urban areas usually, both parents are working, therefore, their child rarely gets an opportunity to learn values, social and moral values. So, now, the responsibility is on educational institutions as School, preschool, colleges to make student at the gentleman and not just job-seeking graduate. And as you know how good schools are in teaching students values? Actually terrible.

What we all can do for lack of values?

As said by Helen Keller:

“It is a terrible thing to see and have no vision.”

So let’s have a vision that schools must not only be passing kids but also be teaching students values and skills to make a change in society for the betterment of humanism. So as they say money can’t buy happiness but I think that it is the way we use it. You can use it to share happiness. It is very obvious that we need a job and money so as to survive in this world but let us not forget the job and money are not the only two things we need as we don’t have to just survive but we have to live. 

Life can only be lived to its fullest when you live it for others.

Vibhuti Haldar

It is high time that we reflect on the kind of world we are creating through our system of FORMAL EDUCATION, ASSESSMENTS, AND REWARDS and its implications on young students.

It is high time that we reflect on the kind of world we are creating through our system of FORMAL EDUCATION, ASSESSMENTS, AND REWARDS and its implications on young students.


Let’s just revise what we have learned today. Revising the stuff will help you apply your newly acquired knowledge in real life.

So in the end. Values and manners teach you how to make others’ lives easier and make them happy with your smallest gesture. And definitely, making someone smile is the best thing you can do in 24 hours of a day. 

So do tell me in the comment below who are you  going  to make smile in the comment section below. 

I did make my mother smile today by mimicking my dad. And what will you do ?

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